Why is it that our kids, especially the toddlers, know how to push all the right buttons to send you right over the edge? It can't take years of training because they are only a few years old! Does someone feed them this information? Like, "hey, if your mommy tells you not to kick the front seat one more time, pause and then do it again with a smirk on your face....that'll really get her". LISTEN TO THE WORDS THAT ARE COMING OUT OF MY MOUTH! I swear I utter that phrase dozens of times on a bad day. And I know that boys are especially bad. It's that male selective hearing gene. My three year old, Jakob, will just keep on doing whatever he's doing even if I'm talking to him within one foot of his face.
Can you tell I had a bad day recently? Well, I did. It made me question, once again, can I do this? I don't have the most patience in the world. Let's face it, i'm just plain old impatient. My dad is impatient and I learned from the best. My dear husband says to me at the dinner table the other day: "honey, you know patience is learned, right?" Oh, whatever Dave. I can go from tolerance to impatient in two seconds. I know that there are lots of factors that contribute to a good or bad day. Sleep, exercise, me time, a shower, food and of course caffeine. If some or most of those things don't happen, it makes my patience wear even thinner. This is why people always tell you to do something for yourself. When you have kids, you put others first a lot of the time. It's really hard for me to wake up and think to myself, "gee- I think I'll let my five month old cry while I exercise on the elliptical and shower". When one is content, the other wants something. It's just how it goes. What's the silver lining, you ask? What makes this SAHM job worth it then? I'm not sure I personally know yet. I know what those super moms and grandmother's who have been out of the parenting scene for years would say: "you'll look back on this someday and be so thankful for the time you got the spend with your kids...time goes by so fast...before you know it they'll be grown up". I know I should appreciate this time. Cherish and revel in it. It's just hard when you aren't used to living in the moment. I'm used to planning my future; planning my next steps. This whole adventure I'm on can't really be planned. Besides, even if I wanted to return to the workforce I haven't found anything that fits the bill. So, I must continue on. And I'll probably have a lot of bad days. I found that shedding a few tears and going shopping with a good friend after the kids go down to bed really helps. Talking to another mom with children similar in age to yours can really help you feel not alone. Thank goodness for good mom friends and mom groups.
I'M JUST SAYIN'- thought of the day:
I do not mean to offend anyone, but senior citizens should not be allowed to drive. At the very least, they should have to take their drivers test over again. I'm serious. Now that I'm home more during the day I come across senior drivers all of the time. Today, as I'm running late for an appointment, I found myself trapped behind a Grandpa going 25 in a clearly marked 35. 10 under?!? I think he hit the brakes 10 times in a one mile stretch and NO ONE WAS IN FRONT OF HIM!?! I know I'll be that old someday and won't want to be trapped in my house, but at the very least they should abide by the laws and speed limits. 10 under?!?!
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